I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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