No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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