drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize