Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
