She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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