Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize