You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
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