we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
