the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
