Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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