I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
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