I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
