So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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