so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
