Me. At least after what I've been through.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
