READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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