We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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