I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
