nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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