i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Threesome in a minivan. New low
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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