the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
