First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
