what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
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