Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
