he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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