yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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