i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
There's even glitter on my cock...
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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