if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
There r osticjed everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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