I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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