Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
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