y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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