I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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