I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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