Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
