I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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