have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize