I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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