we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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