and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Randomize
