whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
