he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Randomize
