i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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