i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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