Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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