i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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