Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Randomize
