I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
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Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
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Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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