she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I wish there were birth control emojis
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
