I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
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I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
i think my cat just said my name.
My vagina is very pro this idea
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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