sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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