my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
