dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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