First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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