Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
