things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
