Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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