I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize
