IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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