doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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