Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
