She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize